It Hurts So Good

   Everyone knows that i'm an un-athletic person- so un-athletic that i don't own a single pair of sneakers. I only run during commercial breaks (to get to the refrigerator) and in the rain (to get to my car.) I get winded walking up a flight of stairs and i have to take "sit breaks" at the mall. The gym is a very foreign place to me. So you can imagine how much i hated today...Gym Day.

   Nathaniel and my Dad have been on this work out high recently-they have this fitness app on their phones they've been following for weeks. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is Gym Day. I usually have class on Gym Days but tonight some bozo decided to give the school a little bomb threat and i got suckered into going. Hudson gave me a pair of his shoes and everything! I was a little excited at first to be up in the gym workin on my fitness all Fergie style, but that changed about five minutes after challenging Nathaniel to a leg press competition. He won-i went to the elliptical and started playing Jesus music on my Ipod hoping God would send some angels to rescue me. Thats when i got the marvelous idea to go to the kickboxing class. Kickboxing. What a terrible, terrible thing. I got Dad to come with me; he pointed out that it was not a beginner class. I don't know if it was my 4 minute elliptical run or my cute workout clothes, but something made me think i would be okay in a non beginner kickboxing class. i was wrong, i was so wrong. I was DYING, and it was only the warm-up. We're squatting and holding, then we're pulsing and squatting, then we're kicking and squatting. My legs are very upset with me for that one. Then we did more punching then i've done, seen, or imagined. it just never ended. Jab. Cross. Hook. Elbow. "faster!" When we got to the Jab-Squat-Kick-Hook-Jump-Cross-Switch section i just looked over at Dad and mouthed "sorry." The whole room felt like a sauna. A sweaty nasty sauna. With every punch and every kick my body let me know how betrayed it felt. And i dont know what number system our little instructor friend was on but it was not okay with me. "Okay guys five more! here we go and one! (we do six more.) two! (we do ten more.) three! (i do two more and then quit.) four! (he smiles at me and i do not smile back.) five!" 45 minutes later and i've done more workout in that class then i've done in all my nineteen years of life. Just when the music starts to wind down and i think we're finished he says, "push-ups!" i did 4. And they were all girl push-ups.

   Even though i can't feel body parts at the moment-i did make it through the whole class. Because of this i have an undeserving level of arrogance and promised my dad that if i could walk tomorrow, i would meet him at the gym at 7 for "Muscle Toning"...